Men are caregivers, too

Written by Kelly Lamb

Take a look in almost any women’s magazine and you will see an article on some aspect of care giving, whether it be parenting or taking care of an ill or aging family member. That’s not generally true of publications for men.

Throughout history women traditionally have been seen as having the role of nurturer and caretaker. In my position as the caregiver counseling specialist at Elder Services, I have witnessed an increasing number of calls for assistance and/or counseling from men who have been placed, either by choice or necessity, in the care giving role. There also has been increased attendance by men at programs and support groups targeted for those who are caring for a family member.

In my search to locate more information for and about the male caregiver, I discovered that there is relatively little either on the internet or in literature. It is estimated that men now make up 40 percent to 44 percent of the care giving population, according to the Alzheimer’s Association and the National Alliance for Caregiving.

Participation by sons caring for an elderly parent has increased by 50 percent in the past 20 years. Generally, these men are only children or the child who happens to live closest to the parent. Male caregivers are more likely to be working full- or part-time than female caregivers (66 percent vs. 55 percent).

The fact that men are taking a more active part in caring for an aging parent or spouse is significant because it’s a role for which they are frequently unprepared. Historically, many (certainly not all) men caring for a loved one were not previously involved in tasks such as cooking, shopping, cleaning, doing the laundry and providing personal care. Many have to learn new skills and are likely to question their abilities. Research also has shown that men may have a different style of problem solving and may not have as well-developed social support networks as women. They also may not be as accustomed to asking for help and utilizing support services, therefore leading to a greater feeling of isolation.

The vast majority of research on caregivers has been done on women and there is a lack of knowledge about the growing population of male caregivers and the best way to support them. A recent book, “Men as Caregivers: Theory, Research and Service Implications,” by Betty J. Kramer, Ph.D. and Edward H. Thompson Jr., Ph.D., begins to address these issues.

In this changing climate, it is necessary that we, as providers, accommodate and do not minimize the needs of male caregivers. Just like their female counterparts, men have a need to balance their professional, home and care giving responsibilities.

It is my hope that all of you, male or female, who are providing care for a loved one will feel free to access the resources available to assist you, such as the Caregiver Counseling Program or the Caregiver Support Groups at Elder Services or through another agency.

Kelly Lamb is a family caregiver counselor for Elder Services of Iowa, based in Iowa City. Contact her at 338-0515 or klamb@elderservices.com.