The best of friends

Written by Heather Spangler

Photos by John Richard

Grace Katzenmeyer eagerly described a new outfit she saw her friend, Lois Beasley, wearing recently while she and Lois and two other friends met for one of their regular lunches in Iowa City.

“She looked so long legged!” Grace said.

Lois rolled her eyes and jerked her thumb toward Grace.

“My fan club,” she said wryly.

Grace, Lois, Barb Feeney and Betty Raher meet often for lunch or shopping or to admire Lois’ backyard garden in West Branch. Another friend, Mary Elaine Oxford, usually is involved, but she’s away looking after her son’s family in California while her daughter-in-law is treated for breast cancer.

In addition to fashion, the women’s lunch conversation covers everything from family news — Lois’ brother is getting married — to who’s the best on “Dancing with the Stars,” to an off-color joke. They spend a lot of time remembering the fun they’ve had together over the years.

And there’s a lot to remember: Grace, Lois, Barb and Mary Elaine first became friends as kindergartners at Longfellow Elementary School in Iowa City in 1936.

“If you ever saw ‘Annie,’ that’s how we looked. It was the Depression,” Grace said, describing wool underwear, long wool stockings and high top shoes.

Betty, now a Cedar Rapids resident, attended Horace Mann Elementary School, but joined the clique in junior high. The five women now are all 78.

“I fully believe in the old adage, ‘Old friends are the best friends,’” Betty said.

Grace said the women are like sisters to her.

“We can say almost anything to each other. We accept each other’s criticism,” she said.

Grace remembers a time when Barb, who lived down the street from her in Iowa City as a youngster, taunted her for not going to church and confession.

“She said ‘My heart is a white rose and yours is a black rose.

Every time you commit a sin, God puts a pencil mark on it,’” Grace said with a laugh.

She also remembers a time when Lois pulled a prank on her. Grace was visiting Lois’ family acreage and climbing on to Lois’ pony for a ride.

“I had one leg in and she smacked that thing on the behind and it took off. I was so scared,” Grace said.

“I did that?” Lois asked with a grin behind her cup of coffee.

Of course, Grace wasn’t innocent either. She and Barb used to walk along Ralston Creek with their younger brothers — also best friends — to catch a movie downtown. They’d climb out where New Pioneer Co-op now stands and head toward the Englert. One day Grace climbed out first and managed to pull all of the good weeds for gripping out as she went, leaving Barb trapped down below.

“I started to cry,” Barb laughed.

And she was stuck there until a passer by went home and brought back a ladder to get her out.

“Her knees were all scraped up, but we still went to the movie,” Grace said.

The women said they feel lucky to have grown up during the Great Depression and World War II, despite the rationing and that awful wool underwear.

“We couldn’t have hit a better time to grow up,” Betty said.

“There were no gadgets, no toys, because nobody could afford them. We had to make our own fun,” Grace said.

After high school, the women weren’t quite as close as they are now. They were busy attending college and starting families. Grace moved away and lived in Long Beach, Calif., for 20 years.

But Barb helped keep them in touch by writing letters and organizing get-togethers whenever Grace visited. After Grace moved back to Iowa City in 1980, they started to see more of each other.

Now they love to try new restaurants together in the towns surrounding Iowa City and always meet for their birthdays, which fall once a month from October through February.

“We just like each other,” Grace said.

Mary Elaine, who plans to return to Iowa City in July, said she loves spending time with her old friends.

“We like to eat. We like to have a drink. We like to go shopping,” she said. “We are what we are. We just have a good time.”