Care for yourself during the holidays

Written by Kelly Lamb

The holidays are a mixed blessing. They are a time for family gatherings, reflection and traditions, but also a time for stress, loss and the grief that may come along with the celebrations.

I have put together a list of simple things that caregivers can do to survive the season. These ideas are certainly not all-inclusive, and what works for one person might not work for another.

I encourage you to be brave. Try things that are outside of your comfort zone. Most of all, remember that you are important, too, and deserve to experience the peace and joy that goes along with the season.

• Make time for yourself while your loved one is taking a nap. It is not selfish to enjoy a good cup of coffee by yourself or to soak in the tub.

• Exercise. It’s one of the hardest things to do when you are already exhausted, but take a chance. A slow walk, simple stretches or deep breathing can help relieve stress and will give you a few moments of quiet.

• Try to eat well and get as much sleep as possible. Lack of sleep and poor nutrition make it difficult to cope with stress.

• Treat yourself to some good old-fashioned fun. It doesn’t have to be extravagant and can include your loved one if he or she is able. Think back to something that really made you laugh. Was it a movie, pictures of your grandchildren eating their first birthday cake or the last time you bowled and went down the alley with the ball? Do it. Laughter is healing.

• Instead of baking all the treats yourself, have family members select a special cookie or pie and bake it together as a shared activity when you get together.

• If you are experiencing loss, know that your emotions are a natural part of life. Be honest with yourself and others about your feelings. Express them by writing in a journal, drawing or having a good cry.

• Don’t be afraid to delegate. Nowhere is it written that you have to be the host or cook the entire holiday meal. Take a chance on starting some new traditions that are more in line with your current schedule and demands.

• Try to remember what the holidays are all about. Search for the spirit, whether it means praying, meditating or performing a random act of kindness.

• Find the simple blessings in your life. Write yours down and if the holidays start to get the best of you, remind yourself that there is good in your life.

• Every day I am blessed by the strength and beauty I see in the caregivers I work with. Thank you for adding to my list of blessings and Happy Holidays to you and your families.

Kelly Lamb is a family caregiver counselor for Elder Services of Iowa, based in Iowa City. Contact her at 338-0515 or klamb@elderservicesiowa.com.